what's going on?

8th Dec. Mon Rainy in the morning....sunny in the rest of day


Havn't written anything for a while
At home, "Enjoy" my holiday now.....
Actually, getting bored now.......
Watching DVD n TV at home
Or, going out for "window shopping"
I really have nothing to do beside these.......
Most of time, when I go online on MSN or OICQ, I have nothing to talk to others
Sometimes, I don't even want to turn on my lap top
Why?
What's going on now?

I also don't know why I'm doing that to myself.....
I feel I'm ugly
Yes, I'm.....
Hehe, God, You love ugly, do you?
("God loves ugly", Jordin Sparks)

Going to Malaysia on the 28th, n will come back on the 3rd of Jan
6 days in KK.....
Looking forward to going there.....

I feel sorry to my parents, for not being a good child...
Next year, I should change
I have to
Not a little kid anymore
Can't be so lazy, or so childish
I need to find out my direction, where I want to head to

I want to help others
But I also want to have a good quanlity life
With a good quanlity life, I will be able to help others more
I understand that all the helps have the same value
But.....
Anyway, God says you need to Give first then you will be Given
I will learn to Give
Giving love to others
Giving cares to others
Giving help to others
Giving faith to others
Giving trust to others

Also, I need to be the person who can handle the details
It's important for me to do that
I'm always careless
Most of time. doing things without thinking the consequences
Sorry for hurting some people around me........

2009 is coming
In the following year, I want to be someone better forHim, my family, n my friends....

Unsuessful "Clubbing" + Trust

21. Nov Fri Raining....


so...the clubbing thing....didn't make it.
which is fine for me
coz i already lose the mood to go long time ago
but, i feel sorry for karen....
she seems really disappointed...... =(
hehe~
i dont think i will make an other plan for that unless karen wants to go

someone didn't text me....
hehe~ i knew it....
i think i have learnt to don't take people's words seriously
especially...people you don't know really really well....

sometimes i think "is something wrong with me? why i take what other people say so seriously?"
but, it's not about me!
it's all about other people
there are so many people who never care about what are they saying
they dont care about the consequences
they just say whatever they what to say at the time they want to
it's ok, i won't take other people's saying so seriously now

Sorry/Christmas

10th.Nov Mon Sunny/Hot

Just checked Ting's Q-zone, she wrote on her blog that her housemate has told her that study is the most important thing in here.....I feel so lost after I read that.....

On Jiao's msn status, she said that she has been quite stressful these days. N she asked me to go to the library n study with her on wed. Even Jiao has changed, how about me?

Today, when I went to the Barr Smity to look for Catherine, I saw the library was full with students. Everyone was studying so hard in there. I felt really bad when I saw that. Everyone is trying there best for there exams, but me? What am I doing these days? I'm disappointed with myself......

I have thought about what I have been doing through the whole year.
This year, I have done nothing for my studies but spend money/time for playing n shopping...... Why I have become like this? Who I am? Sometimes, I don't even know who's the person in the mirror when I'm looking at it......

Had dinner with Helen today. She talked to me a lot, n she gave me some advises about life and study. She's so nice to me, like sister. I feel blessed.

Went to Meyer this afternoon. Every year, around the time of Christmas Pageant, I always go to the top floor of Meyer since I have been here. They got those Christmas ornaments. They are sooooo nice and sooooo pretty!!!! I love them! Every year, I will go "window shopping" in thar area. When I walk between those decorated Christmas trees, I feel I'm walking in a fairy world!
I never had any interests of Christmas before I came to Australia. I don't hate Christmas, I just don't like the way how Chinese peoople celebrate it. It exists more for a busiess purpose. I don't feel any bless, joy and holy in Christmas. But, when I first saw these christmas ornament, I think I have understood the realy meaning of Christmas. I can feel happy, joy, peace, bless, n all the other beautiful things. I suddently want to have a family.....I want to decorate my own Christmas tree and celebrate Christmas with my family. I just want to have a peaceful and joyful time with my family for Christmas......I hope it can happen in 10 years time....Hehe~ I'm 20 now, and I have asked myself that don't get marry before 30. Then.....10 years...well, I think I need to wait for a bit longer to see my dream comes true. It's ok, I have time~

I think I have get rid of what happened...... I can't say I don't care it at all. But, I have given up totally.... I have taken all my tensions off XXX......


真的真的死心了……
离开的心……如何回去?
认真也好，无聊也罢
我已经不想去想了
没有意义
是我的就是我的
该来的总会来的
我不去追了
天注定的东西
强求总是无果的



i have put those wool and knitting needles away.....
Finally.....

Sorry about what I have done
I need to fight for my study now
I really need to do it....

底线

我想……事情已经发展到我能承受的底线了……
真的……快撑不下去了吧……
当然，我还是会努力坚持的，很拼命很拼命地坚持下去……
可是……我还是要骂几句，还是要发几句牢骚……

好吧
你们喜欢玩是吧？
那随便玩吧
你们爱怎么玩我就怎么玩
把我玩死的话我还给你磕头上香呢！
你们了不起，你们厉害
你们一个两个说话都不负责任
说玩一个两个都不当一回事
我好骗
我容易相信人
都是我的错
你们爱怎样怎样
是我一厢情愿地信以为真
是我一厢情愿地自甘作践
我不相信
我谁也不相信了！
一个两个都是骗子！
一个两个说地都比唱地好听！
也对哦，都是唱歌的，自然好听～

是，是我一个人的错
是我笨到要相信
是我笨到被吓到
是我笨到去在意
原来大家说话都从来不想想后果，也不用去负责的
我居然傻到现在才知道
是我天真
是我幼稚
是我的错！
全都是我的错！

my hair

6th Thus seems like a bit cloudy today.....happy bitrhday Zhu


so.....my hair is red now......
it looks not bad, but......don't know
I feel I was..."cheatted"?...not sure if i used the right term....
I just feel really bad that I got colour on my hair.....
n...I will have the hair cut tomorrow...oh no.....
I thought I would just have a simple hair cut

I want my black and long hair!!!!!! T_T

Just called LT....it's 9:40pm something in Spain
and It's 7:10am in here....
We are soooo far away now
I havnt call him for so long....
Since that happened
I still cant face something I think....

Went to CCM yesterday
It was good
Didn't spend much time with God these days
Which is not a good thing......

By the way!!!!
I finally finished knitting the scarf for Jiao!!!!!
haha~~~
I'm soooooo happy!!!!!
It's not that nice like the one I made early of the year
But, I have tried something new
looks not bad!

I have tried really hard to put my life back into the right track
I really did.....

4th Nov

4th Nov Tues Dont know....

The story has to finish now...
The ending...that's no ending for this story...

At the end, I realise that it is all my fault
I shouldn't start it at the begining
I should mind just my own business
Sorry, it's my fault
Sorry, I was being annoying all these time

It's ALL MY FAULT!
I will stop here......


對不起，是我多管閑事
對不起，是我讓你煩了
對不起，全是我的錯，是我煩你，是我多事
什么都是我不好
什么都是我的錯

我會離你遠遠的
我會不再管你的事
我會不再煩着你的
我會當你就只是普通朋友的，連好朋友都不是的那種

我真的不知道一直以來，原來你這么煩我……
對不起了……

29th Oct

29th Oct Wed Sunny to Cloudy, which is not a good sign


I went to Yang's graduation
I didnt stay for the whole thing
I just went there and met some people
I met Yang, Crystal, Aaron, Nick, Tucker and some others.
Didn't see M......
I was expecting to see him
But, I saw.....I still don't want to mention his name
Anyway, I saw XXXXX, who will recall me about M
I then realised that he would come too...it's also his graduation...
But, I didn't see him at all untill I left
I wasn't really disappointing
But....be honest, I do want to know how he's getting, how's his life going these days
I hope he's not going to quit school

Just now, I was looking at the photos that I took when I was studying in CCSS
All these pictures, all these people
Sometimes I feel I'm always living in the past
I always stay at what I'm, and don't want to grow up or change
But, the truth is I do have changes, and I have changed a lot since I have been to Aust
Looking at those photos, I...actually, I was a bit shocked, how can I have such a big change
If I put my those photos on facebook, I believe most people that I met in this year will be shocked-----I don't even know how to describe how I looked like before......
Life has worked on us...
God has worked on us...
I know I should thank God for what He has done for me
But...I really don't like who I'm now
"If you don't even like yourself, no one else on the earth will like you."
It's true, I deserve it......
These days, I feel I'm ugly from inside to outside.....
Sometimes, I even want to say "I'm such a B......!"
I want to a positive person
I want to think positively
I want to change positively
I want to see the bright side of this world
I want to love and care others with a pure heart
I want to be purified
I really need to learn how to be nice to people
And it's more important for me to know how to look after myself properly
I really need to learn that

Watched the Arts Degree work opportunities video today
There are a few of things really knock me up
One lady in the video says "I still don't know where I'm going, but I know what quality I want in my job."
For me, I think I don't have any idea for neither of them
I don't know where I'm heading to, and I also don't know what I really want in my job
Or, maybe I do know what I want for my job
I just want a normal job with a reasonable pay that makes a living for myself
I was thinking maybe I should be a home-economics teacher early of the day
It chould be fun for me to do that
I love children, so I do like to work with them
I also like cooking; I just bought three cooking books today (one is for Yang's bday present)
It maybe a good idea for me to become a teacher and teach those kids something that I enjoy to do
Sounds great, right?
But......
Try to be positive!

But....still can not go out of the....shade of something......
I just realised today, the 30th, it will be my last day for my recovering time
After today, I shouldn't give myself any excuse to be upset by what happened
But....I was sad again this(yesterday's ) morning......
These days, I don't really want to talk
I am quite moody most of days
I have been quite anti-social
I don't trust most people
I don't want to get alone with others

I even want to leave again.......

I'm sorry about what I have done
Can I cry one more day?
Sorry.....I let you worry
Sorry, I will learn how to take good care of myself
I will
Please, believe me, I will, give me some time

無題again

果然……
一定不會成功
沒有天時
沒有地利
更沒有人和
連天都不幫我了

真的……真的不可以有那么一點點機會么？

一切都不順利

這條路……漸行漸遠
是好？
不好？

我能堅持多久……

Psalm 18:1-19

I love you, Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliever.;

my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,

my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise,

and I have been saved from my enemies.

The cords of death entangled me;

the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

The cords of grave coiled around me;

the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called to the Lord;

I cried to my God for help.

From his temple he heard my voice;

my cry came before him, into his ears.

The earth trembled and quaked.

and the foundations of the mountains shook;

they trembled because he was angry.

Smoke rose from his nostrils;

consuming fire came from his mouth;

burning coals blazed our of it.

He parted the heavens and came down;

dark clouds were under his feet.

He mounted the cherubim and flew;

he soared on the wings of the wind.

He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him

----the dark rain clouds of the sky.

Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced.

with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

The Lord thundered from heaven;

the voice of the Most High resrounded.

He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy,

with great bolts of lightning he routed them.

The valleys of the sea were exposed

and the foundations of the earth laid bare ar your rebuke, Lord,

at the blast of breath fromn your nostrils.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;

he drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemy,

from my foes, who were too strong for me.

They confronted me in the day of my disaster,

but the Lord was my support.

He brought me out into a spacious place;

he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Psalm 18:1-19

Went to the Scots Church today.

When I just walked in, it was playing Mozart's Symphony 41...(I think...)

I talked to the lady, she's a really nice person

She explained me where the Uniting Church came from, all sorts of things

Then, I really wanted to sit at the front

I did

That time, the music was changed

I wasn't hundred percent sure, but I think that was Mozart's Requiem

I listened to it, and sat on the chair

I talked to Him

I think I felt something during that time

I can feel His power in that place
I can feel He's watching me in that place

I felt I was in His house

He can see me in there

I never felt that when I'm in Hope......

After I "talked"/prayed to Him

I opened up church's Holy Bible

It was Psalm 13

I read a bit, then I turned to Psalm 17

When I read Psalm 18, those words, they exactually tell my feeling

Those words were exactually the same as what I'm thinking these days

Accept God?

What is accepting God?

Go to the church?

Saying I'm Christian?

I think none of them is answer.

They are what you should do after your accept God, but they don't mean you have loved God with all you have.

Lenny was right

She said, accepting God means you believe God can always helps you in His own way, the way He knows is the best for you

and this way will lead you to your best, to His Kingdom

"God works in mysterious ways."

This is from the drma Supernatures

I really like it

Yes, God works in mysterious ways

I will put all of my faith in Him and follow Him

Because I know He will takes me to the place where I belong, where I want to go

I think I have been seeking that place for so long already......

Some people said, accepting God is believeing in God

Then, what is believeing in God?

Think God exists?

I always think He exists, as a non-christian He's not physically exist in my world

But, He still exist in the Christianity's world

It is like, when you physically die, you can still spiritually alive to some people

Believing in God...I think now I know, believeing in Him means to have faith in Him, have trust in Him, think He can save you, He's the one who will help you when you have a need

Like a friend, a close friend, a true friend

God is good

I really like Psalm 18:1-19

I copied them from my bible, but I like the version of church's bible better

It's revised standard version

I like its tone, and the words are used for that bible

It's musically beautiful....( is the way i'm saying making any snese?)

Now I even want to get a bible in revised standard version....=P Hehe~

Then, I went to the barbeque thing

I ate soooooooo much!!!!!!!!

OMG....i must FAT DIE LIAO O~~~~~~

It was fun

I have met some new people

Life has been more interested now......

我想我是真的很固執

太多東西想堅持

如果有會被你討厭的一天……

那，請讓我趁現在對你更好一些

對不起，我就是如此不知悔改

我就像我唱的歌一樣，太悲壯

總會有離開的一天的

總會有放手的一天的

Piano!

Forgot the most important thing I want to do in my holiday------pick up my piano playing skills!!!!!!!
I want to play piano again.
Not for those grades or something else, just.....don't to lost what I have learnt.
I think I haven't play for.....more than 1 year now.......
I may forget almost everything!!!
That will be bad.....
So.....yeh! I will try to play some piano when I go back home!

My Holiday Plan

21st Oct Tues Even thought the sunshine are cold

Juz called to home
Dad is in Tianjin
Mum is at home
Dad said he'll save a big birthday cake for me
Hehe, only 10 days to go
It makes more wanna go home
Actually, I don't like celebrate birthday
I don't like party
I don't like people around me , watching me make wishes or singing bday song for me
I know it's really nice to do this for me, but...it really makes me nervours and uncomfortable
...Ok, I know I'm weird
I only want to spend time with my family on my birthday
As I don't have family....actually I do
Vanda, Nonna, Sue, the whole family treat me like I'm one of them
But, there are someone else are more important to me
There are my family that I chose for myself
This year, I only want to spend my time with them
I don't want any birthday celebration
I just want to have a "Family Dinner" with those people

Anyway!
The main thing I wanna talk about in this post is my holiday plan!
So...this holiday, when I go back,
firstly, I need to pick up driving again!
I have never driven again since I pass the driving test.....it has been about 8 months now
that's really bad......-_-!
Secondly, I want to keep up learning english!
Everytime when I go home, my english will become worse
Coz that's no one speak english to me when I'm at home!!!!
I think I'll try to go to some English short courses, improve my gramma and also help me with my english speaking skills
I will also try to go to a short German class
I really want to learn German, with passionates!!!!!!
haha~ I will learn German next year!!! I have to!!!!
Another thing is church!
I think I will go to that church and have look
Should be fun
The last thing....I'll try to get a job during the holiday, I think
McDonald...or KFC...see how it goes
So, this holiday, I have so many things to do:
Driving, English (IELS), German, Church, Works....
Then....I will have little time to play/mark around
And....I will have no time thinking of someone.....I can forget about all these....can I?

對不起……
我還是忍不住對你好
如果你覺得辛苦
我也無能為力……

But...I still have a few "trips" to go~
I will go to HK and visit Cyrus and Arbe first~
I may also meet Flora, Esther and Ricky in there....( may even stay in Ricky's place....)
Then, I will go to Shenzhen to visit my cousin, Yanling
At the end!!!! The most important trip--------Alison & Allen's wedding in Sabah!!!
Haha, hopefully I can have enough time to apply a visa and go there
But, I think I may only go for the wedding and come back
Don't wanna spend extra money for travelling in Malaysia
I can do that when I have a job and have some my "own" money, not rush~
So....yeh, should be a.....busy holiday~


I will
I will be someone who's better
Just wait
I can
I can make it

My dear holiday~~~
Plz come!!!!!!!!

無題

討厭哦……
為什么又變成這樣？！！？！！？！
怎么好像又是我錯了？！

我到底要怎么做啊？！！？！？
我要做得多好你會喜歡呢？
我要多努力你才看得到呢？
我要多用心才能得到你的肯定？

為什么你好像很討厭我？
為什么我好像做什么都是錯的？
我要幾時才可以開心回來啊？
我要用多久才可以overcome everthing？

我是不是真的這么差勁？
我是不是真的這么討厭？
為什么我要喜歡你啊？
我可不可以不喜歡你啊？
我真的很累啊……
好累好累啊……

明明是你說話不算數嘛
我又沒有要你說那些
我說出來又是我不對么？
作為朋友指出你的缺點又不對
那你要我怎樣啊？！

為什么我什么都要忍？
為什么我什么都要裝做不知道？
為什么我要笑得這么漂亮這么假？

喜歡一個人有錯嗎？
到底是時間不對還是人不對？
為什么……
為什么總是不把事情講清楚
我不對為什么不直接跟我說？
說ok……說得那么不爽我
為什么好像總在兇我……
是我的錯么？
如果是，為什么又不說
不說我怎么改
不知道錯哪里，怎么改嘛

明明是想夸你
卻又被你想到我是損你
有些東西開玩笑地講講
你卻認真到搬出一大堆道理來砸我

好
是我多事
是我犯賤
沒人叫我做任何事
是我自己想對你好
是我自己想管你
是我自己要喜歡你
還說得那么堅定
可是……喜歡你就要被你欺負么
你又不是不知道
就不能看在……好歹有個人欣賞你的份上
稍微對我好一點點……就那么一點點……
這樣的要求，很過分么？

難道我真的要花3年去遺忘么？
我好想回家哦
我好想離開這里

爸爸媽媽，對不起
我沒有好好照顧自己
其他所有的人，對不起
我讓自己受傷了
我沒有好好生活

我想好好生活
過很簡單很簡單
很平靜很平靜的生活
讀我該讀的書
畢業，找份普通的工作
能養活自己
這樣就夠了
我真的沒什么很偉大的夢想
我只想過簡簡單單的日子
很平靜很平靜就好

我真的真的好累啊……

sorry

sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry
sorry

16th Oct

16th Oct Thus A bit warmer....?


Sad......

15 Oct

15th oct Wed Sunny, but still cold

Finally, I have finished most of my assignments
Only the major essay for gender studies is left now
And also the job application thing for esl
Then, all I need to do is preparing the exams
So......I'm kind free now

Anyway!
Had lunch with Chilly today
She said.....I have become....a bit childish this year, since I have started going to CCM
I found I'm become more and more not mature this year...
But....is really that bad?
I mean......why....I want to grow, but I actually went to an opposite side?

Who I was before?
The quite, boring person, who carry books from school to home, home to school everyday?
Ruby called me today
She said, last time we met/talked was in Flinders' open day.....
It hasn't been one year now.....
Also talked to Qiang on the phone
He asked me some advises for choosing the courses
Even he has changed
Why?
I have changed, but not change to become maturer
I actually.....become......who I am now?

Someone said why you seem so happy all the time like Chris?
He didn't know, I was so sad that time
I was nearly crying everyday
Ricky also asked me why every time he saw me, I look so happy
Chilly said that's good

Is that true?
Do I have to wear the mask and push everyone's care away?

Ruby called me and said she heard I have changed a lot this year
That's no secrete in this world
People are always talking about you.....
I hate that!
I'm not a topic.....

Whatever
I want to be better.....
Please, help me, my Lord......

14th Oct

14th Oct Tues A cold day....sun was some where behind the cloud


Can't believe, I was sitting at the front of a computer in the psycho lab for nearly 8 hours
Just for my ESL assignment.....
Actually, I don't feel tire at all
I actually enjoy doing all this work
I think once I start doing something and I know how to do it, I won't stop untill I can finish it
So...that's why I can't stop watching drama/dvd once I start watching them! =P
What a good excuse~

Saw Stephee today
She has short hair now
I understand why she made that choice
I did the same thing last year
For a similar reason....or maybe not
However, she's happy, that is good

I need something to keep me busy
I don't want to spend too much time at home and let myself think randomly
I'm not trying to forget, but I a break for all these......

Bought two clothes yesterday
Showed the photos to Miki, and he said I'm more and more like "teenage girls"(學生妹） these days
Unfortunately, I will be not a teen anymore in 3 weeks time
Or maybe that's why I try to act more like a teenage before my "teen" period finishes
Someone said I sounded I'm pretending cute when I speak one Chinese dialect
Why I can't just natually sound cute?
Why I have to sound like I'm pretending cute?
That's the way I talk!
I don't normally act girly doesn't mean I don't have any....cuteness (well, it does sounds quite disgusting when i say this.....>= [ )
But, it was unfair!
Anyway, I'm who I'm......

I think I will go to Jiao's place and stay there for two days
I am a bit jealous she has family live with her in here
Jiao, Echo, Lucas, and Fan Yang are like my family in here
And also Vanda, Claudia, Sue, Rikki, Alicia, and Donald, they love me as we are one of the family
Thanks God for sending me to that house, and that school
I love these people, and I need them

12th Oct

12th Oct Sun don't know yet.....seems will be sunny

today....actually it should be yesterday...
anyway~

went to Koorong in the afternoon
Ben was working in the cafe in Koorong
He was so nice
He took some time off to help me with choosing the study bible
That was really helpful!
Then, I got a study Bible and two Hillsong's CDs

After that, went to shop for dresses
I havent worn any dress since....I was 11 or 12 I think...
Except for the Semi-formal in yr.11 and the Formal in yr.12
So... I felt quite...not right when I tried on the dresses....
But, I bought one summer dress and a party dress at the end
Haha~ for some reasons...wanna be girly a little bit...
so! next will be the shoes! no more sneakers!....well, I after school~
anyway!
that was fun
usually, I dont like shopping with other people
but, with Jiao, I felt quite comfortable
that's good!
shopping alone during a busy time in a busy place is quite weird.....
but, I still like go shopping by myself when there is no many people in the mall

then, we went to k-box
we sang for 2 and half hours~
we only said we have booked for 2hrs
but, when our time's up, the girl came n asked us if we wanted half more hour
we still got 4 pages song (appx 30 songs... =P), of coz we wanted these extra time!
so, we sang half more hour~
Before I said I quitted karaoke, because I didn't enjoy when I went to K-box this year
Now, I know why I didn't enjoy it
I don't think I want to sing when there are too many people around
When I sing with Jiao I can do something only girls will do...hehe~
Nothing I need to worry about when I hang out with Jiao
Thanks God for letting me have Jiao as my friend

Got the flight ticket for travelling to home on Thus
So...yeh! That's good, can have a rest now
But...I still worry about my english
Everytime I went back, my english will become worse!
That's really bad!
I have to find someone who can speak english with me when I go home!
I also want to visit the church
I have known that place for a while, but I have never been there before
May go there when I have time
I think I will bring my bible with me
I will also bring the two dresses with me!
I want to wear them when I go to Malaysia for Alison's wedding!!!!!!!!
Yes!
This holiday will be soooooo cool!!!!!!!!!
But....need to bring so many clothes with me.....
My mum won't let me buy more clothes in China.... =(
Got too many in here....=P

Anyway!
Tomorrow, have to start and finish my ESL assignment!
....haven't even started to look at it yet
OMG " I'm gonna die!"
....I think I always do a good job on copying how people talk
Who I spend most of time with, who I will be like when I talk

So....
Thanks God for your great love today/yesterday

Thank You...

Quiz! Quiz!

Haha~
I really wanna do this quiz, so....copied from steven's blog~
I'm always like that~
I did the same for the Chinese one on my Q-zone too~ =P
There is no one ask me to do anything, but...I just do it anyway!
( For the chinese one, I actually answered about 60 questions....I think....whatever~)
Ok! Let's start!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
-Piao
-Piao Piao
-Panno

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
-Piao
-Piao Ah Piao
-Ah Piao Piao

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
-My Dimples (o ^w^o)
-Hair
-....Eyes?

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
-Too Fat!!! !_!
-My skin....
-My Legs! I want long legs!!!!!

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:~
-Chinese
-Asian
-People from Mercury =P

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
-Myself
-People....
-Fight

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
-Breathing
-Daydream
-Sleeping

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
-Jeans
-A gray top
-My glasses =P

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
-Tori Amos
-Erm......Ah!Steven Tanoto! =P
-.....Xiao, maybe....my "brother"

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW)
-鐘無艷（"My Fair Lady"-謝安琪)
-如果你也聽說("If you have heard it too"-張惠妹)
-Take A Bow ( by Rihanna)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
-Growing
-Memories
-Love & Care (will it be considered as four things....=P)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
-Eyes
-Nose
-Skin

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
-Listen to music
-Travelling
-Watching TV/DVDs/Movies

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
-Pass all my subject for this semester
-Knowing more about God, n love Him with all my heart
-Be a better person

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
-Teacher
-...Singer? If it's possible~
-Open a small restaurant n sell my Tiramisu...or other cakes...or food...whatever~

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
-Europe ( Netherland; Greece; Spain; Germany; Italy---the Top 5 places I want to go)
-Tibet ( Have already been to there, but I want to go there again...I'm in love with this place!)
-Cheng Du ( My second favour city in China, I have been there 3 times already...)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
-Travel around the world
-Help homeless children, children who developed austim, or children can not go to school
-can't think any now, may get some idea later~

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
-Love cooking
-Know how to knit...(only the simple style)
-Senstive & Emotional

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE NOT STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
-A little bit too tough/strong sometimes
-Can be really rational sometimes.....
-Checking out hot girls......quite unusual, right?! XP

FIVE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
Anyone can see my blog anyway....


NEXT

Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog


Starting time: 0:17 12th Oct
My Name: Piao
Sisters: One child policy in China! T_T!
Brothers: Lei is like my older brother, Xiao n Lucas are like my younger brother (they are all friends, but, they are like my family~~...then, maybe i should put Sophie as my sister...)
Shoe size: 8
Height: 161cm
Favorite drinks: Green Tea, Spring Water, Jasmine Tea and Milk
Favorite breakfast: Breakfast? What is that?! .....don't really have any breakfast these days

Have you ever
Been on a plane: Yes
Swam in the ocean: Yes
Fallen asleep at school: Always, especially when I was studying in China~ =P
Broken someone's heart: I don't think so~
Fell off your chair: ....Yes?
Saved e-mails: Of cause!

What is your room like:
I tidy up my room a bit just now, but....still quite messy~
It's a small room, and I got a lot of stuff....so.....

What's right beside you:
My lap top, mp4, my mobile, a face cream......quite a few things

What is the last thing you ate:
...蘿卜糕 from sugar bowl~

Ever had
Chicken pox: no......so am i still a kid? =D
Sore throat: always~
Stitches: once
Broken nose: no


Do you
Believe in love at first sight: Of cause... I had that happened...
Like picnics: .....depends
Who was the last personYou danced with: .....the semi-formal in Yr.11, danced with people from school
Last made you smile: Jiao.......was with her just now~

Today did you
Talk to someone you like: yes~ hohoho~~~
Kiss anyone: no
Get sick: i don't think so
Talk to an ex: i dont have "ex".....XD
Miss someone: ....I did...I think
Best feeling in the world: .....what is this mean?...well, anyway, I'm quite happy now~

Random :

Is there a person who is on your mind now: when I see this quiestion, yes
Do you want children: Of cause yes! At least two!
Do you smile often: I think so, especially after I came to Australia
Do you like your hand-writing: no
Are your toe nails painted: ....yes, but only because of the summer

Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: ....hmm, my future husband? if i'll have one~ =P
What color shirt are you wearing now: Gray
What were you doing at 7:00 p.m. yesterday: cause it's after 0:00 already, so.....was singing with Jiao in K-box
When did you cry last: This morning
Are you a friendly person: I think so...but, some people think I'm not....
Do you have any pets: I had 1 cat.....when I was 8 or 9....my mum didn't have time to look after it, then we gave the cat to someone

Where is the person you have feelings for right now: ADL
Did you hold hands with the person who mean anything to you now: no
Do you sleep with the TV on: always!....well, actually, no any more. I did that quite often when I was stay in Ann's place （my first homestay), coz I had a TV in my room
What are you doing right now: answering this quiz
Have you ever crawled through a window: ...Yes? can't remember......
Can you handle the truth: well....I can say yes, but can the way I handle the truth be considered as "handle the truth" in general?

Are you too forgiving: ....maybe no.
Are you closer to your mother or father: I like my dad better, but....I think my mum knows me better than my dad does
Who was the last person you cried in front of: Steven and Rickey.....I was watching the movie "In Bruges", Steven was sitting at my right hand side, and Ricky was at the left......so......
How many people can you say you've really loved: one

Do you eat healthy: who does?
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex: ....I don't have "ex"
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you: yes
How often do you go to church: since the 9th Mar 2008, every Sunday
When you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to: No one
Are you loud or quiet most of the time: I think I'm quiet...but, other people may think the opposite
Are you confident: i don't think so.....


5 things I was doing 10 years ago
1. Going to primary school
2. Walking from home to school
3. Wearing skirts
4. Wearing school uniforms
5. Cleaning the classroom as students' duty

5 things on my to-do list today
1. Go to church
2. Start my ESL Assignment
3. Read the Bible and go through the "Everyday with Jesues" thing
4. Clean the living room (Coz my housemate's coming back)
5. May go to Uni after the church

5 snacks I enjoy
1. Chips
2. Ice-cream
3. Can't
4. Think
5. Any

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
1. Help people who have needs
2. Travel the world
3. Pay for my school fee n all my living cost in Aust
4. May open a shop...in China, I think
5. Give half of the rest to my parents, n use the other half for some investments


5 places I have lived in
1. Nanning
2. Beihai (my mum said I was living there with my grandma for 1 year...)
3. Adelaide
4. No
5. More

5 jobs I've had:
1. Housekeeper
2. Waitress (for my work experience)
3. Marking my mum's students' exam papers~ ( I got no pay for this! >_<)
4. No.
5. That's all I had so far....


People to be tagged:
Can't think any now~
May list some people in later~


1:59am....
1. Sophie
2. Miki
3.Xiao

10th Oct

10th Oct Fri Nice day to "Chill Out"......


Didnt sleep last night the whole nighte
Didnt go on MSN at all on last night
Never did this before......
Well, I think I was lucky enough to have my report done by the due time
That was lucky, really lucky

Went to the Uni Bar with Raqual and Caroline
Had a glass of vodka with...something, whatever they are, don't care~
Coz it mixed with something, the taste wasn't that bad
But.....after I had it....my stomach.....cant not stand it at all
Haven't had anything since 9am till I had that drink....
Be honest...I really don't like that place
So many people
So noisy
Can't stand that at all.....
Why I stayed there for a stupid reason
No one really care!
Hos stupid I am!

Don't like Uni Bar
Don't like alcohol

But, there are a few cute guys in there
......all right~
I will try to quit my "'hua chi'-ness"...if there is such thing....

Met Nelson on Rundle St, then Cathrine on Rundle Mall
Nelson was going to the pub on Rundle St
And Cathrine was going to the pub/club on the Hindlley St
.......
I think I came from a totally different world to these people......
I think I prefer staying at home and watching TV and DVD most of time

Btw....Evon's question was weird
"Have you successfully given up?"
I don't want to give up
Even though what I'm doing is like giving up
But, I still don't wanna give up
I even want to get a HD for some reasons......
Stupid....but, I think I know whether it is worth or not!

Maybe I'm more believe the life is controlled by an external force
But, I will do what I can do to let my life go on the way I want under this force!
I still owe a little piece of my life

Leave anything to the God?
No.
Leave rest to the God
Lenny was right
He hleps us in an unique way
A way will bring us the most benefit to our lifes
A way will give us the best in a long term period
A love like father's love......
Hehe, it's a little bit hard to understand about the last part, right?
It's ok, it's not important anyway

God is Good.
Have faith in God.


Thand You.

9 Oct

9 Oct Thus A little bit wamrer?


Did my presentation today, it was....crap.
But, I deserved it... didn't put much effort in it...I think.

Miki arrived Toledo, and has started his new life in Spain
How good is that?! A new life----"A Fresh Start", Ann alwasy says that.

Tried to book the ticket, I really want to go home.
Actually, I want to go home to avoid something.
But.....when I was choosing the dates to go back home, I wanted to go back as later as I can.
I also wanted to come back here early......for some reasons......
Yes, there are something is important in here.
I have to come back and I have to face it.

If I can, I want to go back to China and stay with my grandma.
In that small town, I think I can have a really quiet life.....
That should be good for me.
If life can be simple again, it should be good for everyone.
Doesn't make any sense....does it?
Whatever......

"Whatever", this remainds me about David.
Didn't know that message I sent caused that many troubles...
It's just a message, and I had no any idead what happened till a year later.
Am I a trouble maker?
I think I'm...
Whatever......

I do scare now.......
Why I'm so stupid?!
Same mistake, I made two years ago, now I let it happened again!
So stupid!!

I was looking up the flights to Sabah.
I want to go to Alison's wedding.
I want to buy a dress for her wedding. (IP

I really want to be someone better.
I really do......

I think I should have a dream
A dream that I can put my 100 efforts in.
Then, I can sing "I have a dream~~~~'.....so lame....!_!"'

Everything can be better
We are all special individual
We love each other......
If someone will read this, I think he will say my logic is so weird
Hehe~ I don't care!
Even though it doesn't make any sense most of time
That's who I am and how I live.

Thanks for the music
Thanks for Your great love





I want to go back to stay with my grandma and never come back.

2nd Sep

2nd Sep Tues sunny...but cold...well, not that cold


Went to the opera today.
It's really different to the one I watched before (XXXXXX Butterflies....sorry, dont know what's the first word). This one is really funny. I really like it, and I really get excited when I was watching it.
For the story......that's something I don't really like it. It remains me how disgusting most of men is......sometimes. Anyway, I shouldn't take that serious.
Anyway, the opera was awesome! Want to know more about all these things. Now, I even feel I want to watch an other opera! =P I'm really glad I didn't sleep at all! lol~

Steven's and Evon's birthdays are coming soon. Hehe~ A little bit excited about it. Royal show will be on this friday! Haha~ So cool! So many things to do now!! Keep me busy~
Anyway, too tire, off to bed.

Father Lord, Thank You!
Thank you!
I love You, My Lord.
Please Bless my families, n my friends.
Thank You!

30th Aug

30th Aug Sat Raining......I think I just had a bad ending......


You have an other world, and I know nothing about it......

I want to know who she is
I want to know what's really happen between you two
Is she pretty?
Is she smart?
Is she nice?
She's doing the same course as you do, right? So...you two...can have a lot things in common, do you?
She should be able to help you most of the time, right? Not like me, only make troubles.....

Yes, I'm jealous.
Yes, I do care when I heard that....

Can I don't care that much?
Can I stop here?
I'm tired......

I think I will give up soon......

30th Aug

30th Aug Sat Don't know what will happen today......

Can't sleep......
Can't even cry any more now
But, still feel sad......

Yes, I am disappointing
Especially when I realised....something...
Too bad......

29th Aug

29th Aug Fri it wasn't a good day....

dont wanna get hurt
better stop here......

25th Aug

25th Aug Mon too cold, too cold......

Why?
Did I own you anything?
Do I have any other choices?

Hate seeing this happened.....

I care, really care.

You know nothing about it......

命中注定我愛你……

命中注定自作孽……

25th Aug

25th Aug Mon Seems like it's nice day today....but who cares?

Don't wanna be a sister.
I hate that.

I'm jealous. Or, it's more about scary.
Too many......what can I say? Not smart, not attractive, not sweet, not cute......yes, so negative.
Can't do anything...... Sorry.

Can I be someone?

23rd Aug

23rd Aug Sat Sunny-----it's a little bit too shinny


Headache......
Pain n hurt......

yuan
lai
wo
shi
zhen
de
hen
xi
huan
......

Need sleep......

Better be alone......

22nd Aug------I'm an idiot!

22nd Aug Fri Sunny/Rainy/Sunny/Rainy...... It's annoying!


Yes!
I am an idiot...... I saw that was the National String Quartet perform today, but it wasn't! I just went in the Elder Hall without looking at the program at the front door, and I didn't realise that's someone else was going to do the piano solo untill I saw the piano at the center of the stage! How stupid is that?!......

Went to Chilly's place for dinner, and Chilly wasn't there. She needs to work. After dinner, I planed to have a short walk around their house with Jade. I went out with Jade, then, she took me went through two houses and asked her friends who live in the house went to another house, which is also her friend's place. So, our "short walk" became I watched for little kids play computer game......-_-!!! Believe me or not, I exactlly looked like a baby sitter! Hopefully, it's not my career in the future.....even though I would like to work with children, but not like this!

Hopefully I can finish my Philosophy essay by Monday...... Don't know what gonna happen tomorrow. Will I see him? Will he remember? Hehe~~~ Stupid girl~ Shouldn't care about this anymore. Learn to trust someone is always a nice thing to do. Yes! Do have faith! Do have belief! Do trust people! There are so many I need to learn.

By the way, I really like Philosophy. I think Philosophy really answer my questions that I have had through my whole life. It's amazing! I didn't know there are so many people have the same thoughts as I do before I started this subject. Egoism, tolerance, such, such, they give me a really good explaination why I'm living like this.
And......Yes, Arki is a really funny guy. He's a really true, really......honest person. The girl, Deanne, she's sweet! Also the people in my other class, Stefannie, Raquel, Channel, Lauren (even I'm not doing german anymore), all these people are so nice! Thanks God I can do Arts now! It is GREAT!

Really wanted to go to his place before. But.....haha~ Yeh, shouldn't be like this baby~

21st Aug

21st. Aug Thus Sunny? Rainy?......the God is a little bit moody today~


Well...I admit I'm jealous. I am jealous of them....... When I hear their stories. I don't mind go thought all these pains, I just want to be one of them.
I want to smile for someone like her.
I want to cry for someone like her.
I want to miss someone like her.
I want to care about someone like her.
I want to be jealous someone like her.
I want to......
Can I?

It's ok, if I will never know about this in my whole life...... Impefect is not a bad thing......

"I am scareming I'm losing all of it
I'm trying to be perfect somday
But till now it's still in vain
I'm bearing I'm losing all of it
I'm trying to be understood
But you said I haven't had seen it yet......"

It is a nice song...... I like it. I like the melody of the song; I like her voice; I like the lyrics...... Without the reasons......

Why seems everything goes back to what it was before?
Why I am scared?
Is that my illusion---- I just know what that really means...... Is this an implication?
Who knows~
Do you care?
Do you know?
Haha~ Maybe you are moral wrong~~~

Anyway!
I can survive after all these!
Piao ah piao is not a soft toy! =P!
Haha! Yes, baby! I am good!
I am fine!

I can do whatever I do to love you. I will give whatever I have to love you.
Thank You. Whatever I have, I give to You, and you.
Haha~ I will overcome all these!

Need to be the happiest person for you! Yes! I will!

"I always know
That you make me smile"
But not just for a little while......

一顆心的距離——很近，卻觸手不可及......

20th Aug

20th Aug Wed Sunny(It was a nice day today)

Wednesday is always the longest day for me. Straight 4 hours in the morning, then one tutorial and one lecture after one hour break. Start at 9, and finish at 4...... Compare to Mon, Tue, and Thus, when I only have one lecture for the whole day, Wed is too long for me...... I cant study anything after that...... I think I'm just trying to find excuses for being lazy......

This semester, the subjects I'm taking are not easy at all, but I found they are actually quite fun.
Philosphy, I spend a lot of time on its readings. There are quite hard to understand, at least for me, but I do enjoy reading those articles. Sometimes, they drive me nut, but I still like philosphy...... Sorry about my weirdness. Lol~
Gender studies is an interesting subject. I think it's easy if I just call it Social Studies. Anyway, I think compare to the economics priciples, the social issues are much easier for me to understand(I know the there are realted to each other...). Another reason that I like doing social studies is.....haha~~~yes! there are some cute guys in my tutorial class~~~lol~ Also the philosphy class! I don't understand, why all these good looking guys are doing philosophy, which let most people relate it to "freaks" (I know it sounds not really nice, but I am sure there are some people do that...)...... But! None of them in my tutorial class, no chance to know them......T_T I still like my tutorial class though. People are really nice, and the tutor as well.
The subject has the most different to what I thought is Psychology. It is still interesting...... sometimes...... but, really different to what I thought before. Today, the teacher on the lecture told us some basic things in statistic. I felt lucky I did specialist maths when I was in yr.12. Haha~ I got some advantages on this topic compare to some arts students. =P I really want to do music psychology now......

Anyway, really want to do better in this semester. I'm doing Arts now, so...NO MORE EXCUSE! I have to do my best! Yes! I can! Haha~~~So I will!